Archive for January, 2008

who is the conversation with?

Posted by Trent on January 25th, 2008

On my path in life I often get bogged down in disappointment or feelings of defeat.  However, when I am centered, when I am paying attention I realize my conversation in life is not with the culture or this noise,  my conversation is with life – God – the universe.  The voices that are telling us we are not doing enough, we are not BIG enough, or we are not popular enough, we are not successful enough, …etc are not the people we are talking to.  Our conversation is with someone/something bigger.  The goal is not to be king of this heap our goal is to listen to the voice inside us because that is where we find God, that is how we begin our spiritual path and that is where we become alive by paying attention and feeding the conversation with this voice.  Our job as soul-full human beings is to add to the hum of the universe.  Scientists speak of sound and hum coming from life, that when you distill everything down from cells or atoms you find vibration…….the way I see it….you find music.  Our job is to add to the music in whatever way we can.   It may mean being a creative and soulful mother, it may mean being a creative and soulful business man, it may mean being a creative and soulful artists but whatever it is our conversation is with the invisible or conversation is with the silence or conversation is with the spiritual because it is the invisible that transforms and creates the visible.  It is the invisible that creates and transforms the music; the music inside me, you, the sky, the water, and everything in between.

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being alive

Posted by Trent on January 23rd, 2008

Life should feed you.  Your life should feed you.  So in my last post I said I wish we had a class were we focused on when we felt alive each day and I realized I can do that right here.  This is a Franciscan Spiritual Practice.  Spend the next two days paying attention and being mindful during the day.  Notice the moments you feel most alive.  Take note of what it is you are doing that gives you that feeling……playing guitar….cooking….thinking of an amazing business you want to start….playing with your kids….writing whatever.  Write it down.  As you go through this post your thoughts on what stuck out for you or what you noticed.   The next big question is what are you doing to pursue that?

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In Front

Posted by Trent on January 22nd, 2008

I was asked by my friend Robert Ethington to speak in front of a group of college kids at SRJC today.  The class was the first year experience class.  They research majors, discuss leadership,  and civic action.  It was strange because although my father was a world known speaker and my brother is a well known speaker, I have never wanted to stand up in front of a group and talk.  I have never been any good at it.  I tend to be an emotional guy and anything I want to talk about I am passionate about so it ends up leading to me getting overwhelmed.  That was my fear today but I wanted to do it exactly because I never had and I felt somewhere there was some energy or life around it so off I went. 

I was to only speak for 20 minutes on the band, pace e bene, the video, my path ….etc. but I ended up speaking about following your voice, listening to your own calling instead of the worlds.  It was a cathartic experience because I was able to say everything I wish someone had said to me at 19 when I was following in the dust of the world.  I rambled, told some of the story of my friend Eric and ended up getting choked up and probably lost most in the class with my unpreparedness but I have to say I enjoyed it.  Finding your voice, figuring out your gifts, listening inward, are all incredibly hard things to do in our culture that is constantly pushing us to do more quicker and around the clock.  I would love to see a class that focuses in on silence, meditation, spiritual practice.  I would love to have these students spend three days just noticing where they feel alive during each day and then telling them to pursue that.  I am assuming it would be hard to get credit for a class like that.  Regardless, I am glad there is a class such is this out there.

The other speakers are doing some really wonderful things in the community check them out.

John Crowly is a visionary Irishman from Petaluma who has gone from his career in airline scheduling software design to self-proclaimed social capital broker and owner of the Aqus Cafe. You Petaluma people should be checking this place out.

Lisa Marie Keith was a last minute fill in for Routes for Youth so I don’t have a bio but you can check out their work here.

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Raise the Sun

Posted by Trent on January 20th, 2008

Here is a preview of the title track of our new album.  I wrote this song about a person who was so protective of themself, so concerned of people or a lover hurting them they shut everyone out.  Their world gets smaller and smaller, colder and colder, as they push everyone away who might end up hurting them.  In the end they are left alone, cold and in the dark wondering what they have done. 

 The only way to be whole in this life is to fall apart.  The only way to love big is to risk everything.  We can try all we want to protect ourselves but if we do we end up never really feeling and drinking in life and all the pain we were trying to avoid we end up surrounded by.

 This song has a little kick to it so put down your coffee…..

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conversations with God

Posted by Trent on January 17th, 2008

I have come to realize that most conversations with God are nothing more than a one sided laundry list of requests and demands.  How often do we ask God, “So how was your day?” or “Hey do you need me to do anything for you?”  We are taught to pray outward but not listen inward.  We are taught long lists of word and phrases to say to God, how to dress appropriately, the precise order of kneeling and standing to get our voices heard but there is no focus on how to receive the message back.   We get confused when our requests are met with silence.  Where is this God that seems to be constantly speaking in the Bible, the Torah, the Koran, to ministers, holy people and TV evangelists when all I ever seem to get is silence.  Where is God in the midst of so much pain and death?  Where is God when I need him?  Where is God when a young boy dies? 

As I have gotten older I have realized more and more that God is in the silence or to put it more succinctly God is the silence.  There are no words for these things.  If in the history of man no one has found the right words to explain God than why do we think he could speak to us in words to explain death, suffering, pain…etc.  It is beyond our comprehension and God is beyond our control and understanding. 

 In everyone’s life there is a time when we all cry out in the darkness for God’s voice but nothing comes.  From the Christian tradition think of Jesus, the son of God, on the cross crying out to God but upon hearing nothing saying “why have you forsaken me?”  He was the son of God and yet was met with silence.  Barbara Brown Taylor asks the question, “Is the moment of most profound silence the moment of God’s most profound presence?”  I believe it is.  I believe that God’s silence is an invitation.  It is an invitation to listen.  It is an invitation to act.  It is an invitation to have a relationship.  Do not expect to hear trumpets and a loud BOOMING voice telling you what you so desperately long to hear.  God is not confined by words, we are.  He speaks in melody, in song, in wind, and air.  I cannot properly describe his voice because it is not a voice it is a feeling that brushes against us behind a veil of light. 

If you are looking to God or living a spiritual life so that you can have answers, clear directions and rules to follow, and a booming voice that speaks to you when you are troubled you are going to be disappointed.  Unfortunately many religions set you up for this disappointment because they lie to you and tell you God will do these things if only you believe enough.  “God didn’t answer you?  Oh you must not be praying enough” they say.   God is not some genie here to grant our requests if only we ask the right way.  God provides the circumstances in which we can find the answer to our own prayers.  

 Look at our culture today and you will find people screaming to be heard through emails, pagers, cell phones, clothing, billboards, and voice but very rarely do we see anyone sitting and listening.  It is as if they are calling everyone they know and yelling “HELP ME!” and then immediately throwing their phone away.  The most important instrument in a band is one’s ears.  We have to listen to each other to find out where our part fits in.  We have to listen to find the melody.  We have to listen and when we do, we know just the right note that will not only fit into the song but lift the song up. We have relegated God to listen and then grant our requests.  What other relationship is like that?   Maybe Santa Claus is more the image of God we have in mind.

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The Distance

Posted by Trent on January 11th, 2008

So months ago I posted on the song “the Distance” the band was working up.  Click here to get the background on the song.   I was going to give you all a play by play of how a songs gets written, worked up by band, pre production and post production.  I posted the first rough version of the song and was going to post clips to show progress.  Instead I got one post up and then hit the studio and never had time to do anything else.  The song is done and will be out on Feb 2nd but here it is for you…..right now.  The Distance by Five A.M. from the album Raise the Sun.

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inverse logic

Posted by Trent on January 11th, 2008

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I have been doing a lot of thinking about the concept of Inverse Logic.  As I read the comments, teachings, or sayings of all the great spiritual teachers you find this theme of taking what seems to be reasonable and turning it inside out such as: the last shall be first, he who loves his life loses his life, to have eternal life you must die, to be centered and mindful you must have no mind.  You quickly realize the the “real” world and most of the values it teaches runs contradictory to walking a spiritual path.  Everything the world tells me is to look outward,  hold on, hold down, keep close, look forward….etc but the reality is the opposite: to find God on the outside look inwards, to hold the one you love – love them without holding, to keep what is precious give it away and on and on it goes.  It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when George realizes that if every instinct he has is wrong than the opposite must be true.  So he goes about doing the opposite of every instinct he has and he ends up getting the girl, the job, and the life he wants.  Maybe as human beings looking to stay on the path we must start thinking  the same way.

pic by shawna mchenry

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