I have been thinking about the concept of balance for the past few weeks.  I have yet to fully catch all my thoughts but I thought I would write some of them down before I hit the studio next week and I am swamped.

We have been taught about the importance of balance in life: Job, marriage, relationship, kids, mortgage, passion, spirituality…etc should all be given equal time.  If we spend too much time at work, other things suffer.  Too much time on ourselves, we start dropping the ball with family.  Recently I was asked “how do you balance everything between your family, your job, your music, the band and your writing.”  My answer: “I don’t.”  I am not very good at balancing.  I suspect none of us are, and more than that I think “balance” is an illusion.  In fact I think the concept of Balance causes more stress in ones life.  Why do we think everything needs equal time and also when you take that thought deeper you find there is an assumption that things are SEPARATE.  They are not.  It as if we are being asked to try and balance without realizing we are laying flat on our backs…..how does one balance while laying on their back?  You don’t.  All is connected in our lives: job, marriage, passions, kids, relationships are all one inside of us.  It is impossibile to balance these things.  The focus should be on awareness.  Paying attention to all of these things as we pass through them.  Noticing when our attention needs to shift as we realize our partner is struggling with depression or unrest, noticing when our kids are breaking down often because they are craving more attention from us, noticing in our own hearts when disconnectedness is starting to creep in and noticing when we need to pull our energy inwards.  It is all one.  Another analogy would be our life is like a garden.  Everything is growing at the same time but some things require our attention during certain moments and if we are not aware than we miss that moment and then things begin to suffer.  At different points we need to tend to different things.  I notice this alot with my sons.  During some months my son Easton needs to be held alot, carried around, and close by to my wife and I.  The following month he will wonder off on his own to work on his own projects not caring if we are there or not.  Three months later my son Wilder is scared to sleep alone, wants to go everywhere with me, gets upset when I go to work.  The following month all is well.  My attention and my love is always there for my boys but during some moments it needs to be more attentive.  Does this mean my love for my other son is taken and given to the other?  Does this mean I then must rush to shower attention on one of my sons to balance things out?  Nonsense.  My love is constant it is only my awareness of one need or another that is changing.

There is no tight rope to walk.  I have also realized that how I play with my kids, talk to my wife, do my job, preform at gig, or sit quietly watching the sun go down ALL effects each other.  My moments of silence give me energy to play with my kids, my conversations with my wife give me confidence to pursue my passion of music, my passion for music and songwriting pushes me to have more quiet/reflective time…etc.  All is connected.  If we treat all of the aspects in our lives as ”things” that we need to balance, we will spend our time exhausted running from one to another.

Posted by Trent on Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007 at 12:19 am.